alessandra (blue_phoria) wrote,
alessandra
blue_phoria

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and now for something completely different.

I don't remember the first bit of my dream, but there was this huge magical space fiasco about how my heart locket (which I wear practically every day and all the time when I go out of the house even though it doesn't have a picture or anything in it, but anyway), it had these strange magical powers, and I can't remember the situation for the life of me, but basically, I put it on at completely the wrong time and wiped out nearly an entire civilization that was beloved by the universe. So after I do this, I'm really depressed, right? I have to leave all of my space friends who helped me along the way. I change my name, and help transport important government goods on trains. I'm a little edgy all the time because along the way of the train tracks, hidden in the hills, are secret agents sent to blow up the trains if anything happens to go wrong. And the camera changes to a tight angle of one of the agents going 'damn, I really wanted to blow that one up for some reason'. (Seriously, that's what he said in the dream.) So when we passed that part of the hills I was overcome with relief. But that all changed when we reached our destination.

At first, the train stopped at this turn-around place, and I didn't know what the heck was going on. So I listened this one girl tell this alien (whilst teasing him for his stupidity, so I was glad I didn't ask) that the customs place was just a little walk over there. So we walked up the train tracks to customs and got in a line. And while I was in the line, this creepy alien guy is behind me. I keep looking forward because quite frankly aliens make me a little queasy, also because of the whole blowing up a civilization thing. And I pull my sweet jedi-lookin' hood down just in case.

But this alien behind me taps my shoulder like that dude does to Luke in the Cantina in Star Wars and is like, "Ali Friiiittz?". I try to ignore him, and he does it again. "Ali Friiiitz?" I turn around, and go, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" "Ali Fritz?" "No... I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

I was pretty sure I was screwed. But luckily it was my turn for customs and I got away. I try to be all sneaky and get past without a scratch, but one of the customs agents asks if I could pull off my hood. I don't want to be rude, so I do. And they all gasp. And then they get violent. Oh, one more thing, all of these customs aliens were Japanese or something, or had vaguely the same customs as the Japanese, because I kept bowing to them and they looked Asian (it's too bad I'm incredibly racist). They were seriously pissed off about me killing all of these people. They wanted to kill me. But I cried and cried, I got down on my knees and cried, I tried to explain that I didn't know it would happen and I'd tried atoning for my sins, and eventually, they believed me and promised they would protect me. I made friends out of them.

They were about to call "next" when I realized that creepy guy was behind me and might want some revenge himself. I told them this, and they said not to worry. I was really scared though so I hid behind this sofa chair in the corner. Which was funny, because there was already this cute little girl there that looked a lot like me when I was younger. She was a little alarmed that I was pushing in on her hiding space, but I smiled at her and she gave in.

It was a bit odd, the first few aliens that came in weren't the one who recognized me, so I guess he fell back in line a little somehow. Every time someone came in, the Japanese customs aliens glanced at me, and I would shake my head. There were aliens of all sizes. And then, this one came in, who looked vaguely like a jawa, except he had a white cloak instead of a battered old potato bag, and you couldn't see anything of his face, not even his eyes. But he was short. For some reason, I wasn't sure if this was the guy or not. I didn't really have a good look at him when he was talking to me earlier because I was so terrified. So when the Japanese customs aliens glanced at me this time, I wasn't sure. Then the jawa guy sniffed the air. His hood fell back and you could see his skinny, battered, violently angrily disgusting human face. And looks straight at me. The Japanese customs aliens blocked his way as he started to run right at me. I escaped from my cornered place and ran into the arms of someone random. But this jawa guy breaks away from those who were blocking him by flailing around, and he grabs me away from whoever I ran into, and he screams in my face, getting spit all over,

"ALI FRITZ!"

He started ranting about how I killed his family and friends and who would ever do such a thing and how I was a monster and he was so violent and angry and I was so terrified that for some reason I was rather sure he was going to rape me, then torture me, then kill me, in that order. I was crying like hell and he was all gross and the customs aliens were trying to back me up but he wouldn't hear any of it. He brings out this electric shaver. And I'm shaking uncontrollably. And he pushes me to my knees, and grabs my head, so my neck is pretty much broken, but I'm still awake, and he starts...

Cutting my hair?

It was terrifying, of course. Anything this guy did was terrifying. But cutting my hair? He kept going on about how hair was honor and sure, I liked my hair and everything, but come on! And he kept doing it little by little, so at first it was just a bit short, and then it was like boy's hair, and then it was completely shaved off in some areas... it was all completely uneven, though.

And that's when I woke up, completely terrified that my hair was all icky and unevenly cut.

Strange dream, eh?
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