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alessandra
05 October 2004 @ 04:09 pm
I miss being... actually hyper. All day long. I'm always tired, these days. Emotionally, physically. I'm nice to everyone. But tired. Occasionally I'll have a surge of sugars and be hyper for about a half an hour. That's the longest it lasts, though.

What the heck is wrong with me?

I swear, I'm getting enough sleep. I used to always get this much sleep. I used to wake up at freaking two in the morning, and stay up, and not be tired the rest of the day.

It's aggravating. Makes me want to do something crazy. Like... I don't know. Be alive?

Some people are really nice to me back, though. Like Ryan. He's nice. Most of the time. He's kind of... quiet, though. More of a loner. Really likes to read.

And Allen. He's nice. After the big 800 yards (1600 was easier, less pressure) today, when I was laying in a heap on the floor, attempting to sleep forever, he came over and asked me if I was okay. That was nice. Allen thinks he's a loser, though, so... yeah. I can tell, he has low self esteem. He's troubled. Tries to look okay, funny, nerdy on the outside, feels like crap on the inside. I know how that is.

I don't like him in that way, however; He's freaking annoying with a G. A lot of the time, at least. I'm still nice to him, as it is. He's an okay kid. Slightly funny occasionally. But not enough to really make me laugh. And that's what is important to me: Laughter. Laughter makes me freaking happy with a G. Laughter cracks my noodles.

Hey, I sprinted faster than Tashia for the 100 yard. 17.06 seconds. I could have done better if I hadn't been thinking about Matt. That, and I slowed down before I touched the finish line. Excuses, excuses. I did better than Tashia, that's what counts. I'm a pretty good sprinter for my size, weight and intelligence. If I do say so myself. Which I do. Not Olympic caliber at all, but still, enough to be proud of. I'll be better by the end of the year, no doubt. I'm out of shape. Can't even hit hard. Gosh, I miss beating up that Colin kid. He was freaking awesome. That guy knew how to make me laugh.

Heather gave me a hug today. Which is good, because I missed seeing Madeleine and getting that daily hug. Fah.

=\ I still want Mt. Hood to blow up. But I don't think it's going to.

I want there to be a freaking natural miraster (Miracle-disaster) around here, goshdangit! What does a girl need to do to get a volcano to blow up and kill a bunch of people? Huh? Answer me that.

...

If you want to.

Well, I hope everyone else's day went okay. Hope no one died. That sort of thing. Peace.
 
 
Current Mood: ... Tired.
Current Music: Silence.
 
 
alessandra
05 October 2004 @ 09:07 pm
... =\ Someone is slowly, constantly hugging me. It's a little creepy. Along with nice. And comforting, and whatnot.

Yes, I know you're doing it. ><;; Whomever you are. D: So... thank you. I think.

Yeah, I think it'd be worse to be deaf than to be blind. I could live with being blind. Being deaf would be horrible. Even if you did learn to read people's lips. You couldn't hear the wind blow, or the birds chirp, or some guy stalking you not-so-quietly... You wouldn't know the different voices of different people, wouldn't hear the sound of touch... on anything...

I wouldn't be able to stand it.

Blindness... you can feel to see. Even if you don't know when things are beautiful... you'd be able to feel them... and know they were... and... you might be able to see deeper into things, into people... because you didn't have to look on the surface. It'd be harder to judge.

...

How did I come to thinking about this?

Walked to my room from upstairs with my down blanket and two pillows over my head. Completely pitch black. Made me think.

...

What else?

...

Oh, yeah. Can't wait until next Tuesday. Gilmore Girls. Luke and Lorelei make such a cute couple. It's so heartwarming. Honestly. It makes me go squeeeeeee. ^__^ Their love is so... good.
 
 
Current Mood: Headache? Maybe. Not sure.