i wanna fly

Oh, also, I would post this on fandom secrets, but I am not embarrassed, and actually find it kind of funny.

When reading Ring Round the Moon, the play I'm auditioning for, the only thing that made it really bearable was that it reminded me SO MUCH of Gossip Girl. I mean the plot is really not at all similar but the characters and their relationships are. Well. Enough for me to srsly see a connection.

Hugo = Chuck
Diana = Blair (I was so shipping Hugo/Diana from the start.)

Those two were super distinct throughout. The others, not so much.

Frederick = Nate, also kind of Dan
Isabelle = Jenny, also kind of Serena

And then all of their parents and older relatives are like "Oh we are old and rich and uppity" or, like Isabelle's parent (RE: Jenny) "Oh, I am old and have high hopes for my child". Or, in the case of Capulat, the part I'm auditioning for, "Oh, I am old and wish I were young again". Hurdy hurr.

Which of these jokes (told in a british accent, in first person) do you think would be best for my audition? If you have a better idea, please post it in the comments! Thank you!

1. The other day, I was walking through an art gallery, and I saw something peculiar. I stopped in front of one exhibit, and sneered at one of the hosts, "I suppose that is some kind of modern art?" "No, madam," replied the woman.
"I'm afraid it's a mirror."

2. There was me and my brother, in this cottage in the country, all on our own in the dead of night. My brother said, 'What was that noise? I thought I heard an owl.'
I said, 'You probably did. I stepped on the dog's paw.'

3. My mother said to me recently, 'I had this awful nightmare. There was your teacher being devoured by this foul-looking monster.'
And I said; 'Go on, what happened.'
My mother said, 'Well, I can't get it out of my head really. The ugly face, the foul fangs, the slimy dribble, the bloodshot eyes....
I replied, 'Yes, but what did the monster look like?'

4. My mother said to me, 'Your uncle's a miser you know. In all that cold weather last week, he just sat huddled over a candle.'
I said, 'Good Lord, Mother, they say it's going to be even colder this week.'
She said, 'Yes, well you never know. This week he may light it.'

5. I was staying with my uncle. One day he come in and said, 'One of the chickens has just died. We'll have roast chicken for dinner.' I said, 'Lovely.'
The next day he come in and said, 'One of the pigs has just died. We'll have roast pork for dinner.'
I said,'Lovely'.
One of the ducks died the next day. He said, 'We'll have roast duck for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
Then the next day he came down all dressed in black.
He said, 'Your auntie's just died.'
I said, 'Don't worry. I'm not stopping for dinner.'