You Know You're From Portland, OR When...
Two-thirds of the people you know are from California, yet there is no sun.
You can list five reasons why Starbucks is evil.
You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.
You remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power for every winter weather event for the last five years.
You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.
You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best India Pale Ale.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.
You can go a whole week without seeing the sun or a person of color..
You have a bookstore, coffee bar, and brewpub all within walking distance of your house.
You think downtown is scary 'cause you were panhandled there ... once.
When you drive out of town, every other guy in a pickup looks like the governor.
When you drive out of town, even the Hondas have gun racks.
When the weather gets above 50 degrees you put on your shorts, but you still wear hiking boots and your parka.
When the weather gets above 60 you replace your hiking boots with sandals.
You think people who use umbrellas are wimps.
You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle
... OR ...
You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.
You know what it is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.
You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.
A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.
You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Portland, OR.
You Know You're From Oregon When...
Your town has an annual chalk art festival planned for a day it's supposed to rain, people still show up, it starts to rain heavily, causing any chalk put on the sidewalk to float away. Very few care, and even fewer decide to bail.
Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.
You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty.
You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.
You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.
You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.
You consider "etiquette" a foreign word.
Most of your friends are from California.
You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.
You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.
You've ever ordered a half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with sugar-free cranberry whip (or you know what it is).
You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.
If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.
You'd be miffed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water.
Every day is casual Friday.
Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits.
Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.
You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.
Know that Boring is a town and not just a state of mind.
Have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
You return from a California vacation depressed because "all the grass was dead."
Remember the date, severity, time of day, where you were, and how long you were out of power and phone service for every winter weather event in the last five years.
Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner’s policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides
You never go camping without waterproof matches, ponchos, and mattress pads that double as flotation devices.
You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.
You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have the names of microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them.
You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there, once.
You replace your hiking boots with Birkenstock or Teva sandals when the weather gets above 60 degrees.
You believe people who use umbrellas are wimps or Californians, or both.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Oregon.
|You are 80% Cancer|
You Are a Liberal for Life
You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it.
For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business.
You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic.
Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.
You Are From the Moon
You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon.
You're in touch with your emotions and intuition.
You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory.
Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone).
A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.